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Articles

1993-1994

09/28/93 - Eggs and Hamsters - Who eats, and who gets eaten

Letter to the Editor: Ask not for whom the bell tolls...

02/08/94 - Strawberries and Whipped Cream - Why I get wet at WPI

02/15/94 - Pencils and Jello - What's Holding This Up?

02/22/94 - Oprah and Applesauce - And now a word from our fans

03/01/94 - Moats and Chicks - What's being served today?

03/29/94 - Lists and destiny - A smile without a cat

04/19/94 - Carbonless Paper and the Swiss Alps - The healthier alternative

04/26/94 - Toasted armadillos and the jon - How to balance the budget

1994-1995

08/30/94 - Coke Bottle Glasses and Chicken Little - Who's running the show?

09/07/94 - Blowup Dolls and Sharp Tacks - Closed for Remodeling

09/13/94 - Anchovies in the Petrolium Jelly - How did I get into this?

09/20/94 - Fog and the Dutch - Why am I muddy?

10/04/94 - Doughnuts and The Swamp Thing - What do you want on your Tombstone?

10/11/94 - Phone Calls and Blank Walls - Has Jack Frost been nipping at your... butt?

11/01/94 - Sabotage and Sodas - The Time has Come

11/08/94 - Ticket Stubs and Drinking - What's all the rush about?

11/15/94 - Flea Bites and Lounge Acts, Don't Touch That Dial

11/22/94 - Seagulls and Parking Lots - Do you really have to take this?

12/06/94 - Marching bands and pink balloons - You're getting verrrry sleepy...

12/13/94 - Merry Christmas or Seasons Greetings - Grab a PC and take off.

01/17/95 - Cartoons and Twinkies - Who's stuffing the ballot box?

01/24/95 - Feathers and Harbor Seals - What's that thing growing on your leg?!

01/31/95 - Four-wheelers and Telephone Poles - Who's been eating YOUR porridge?

02/07/95 - Fig Leaves and Pipe Cleaners - What are you doing in here?

02/21/95 - Cappuccino and Microchips - The Good Time Eating Place

02/28/95 - Dental Floss & Diaphragms - Trouble Brewing?

03/21/95 - Tangerines and Coffee Beans - Sleepless in New Jersey

03/28/95 - Top Hats and Hopscotch - Your one-stop bait and tackle store

04/04/95 - L. I. L. A. B. O. C. A. W. J. S. O. T. N. Y. F. I. T. W. B. T. Y. A. P. I. T. B. N. O. T. F. B. R. T. W. L. T. C. P. F. T. O. Y. W. F. T. S. Y. C. F. O. N. T. I. T. I. O. B. Y. F. T. O. Y. W. D. K. H. O. T. H. T. O. Y. V. C. R. W. I. H. U. A. A. S. . L. T. J. W. T. U. A. W. B. G. T. S. B. A. M. T. F. 1. I. O. M. S. A. O. T. L. T. W. A. W. T. D. T. H. O. W. R. W. L. Y. P. W. W. W. C. T. Y. A. O. T. D. A. A. V. E. R. O. Y. C. B. W. K. T. W. C. N. A. A. P. O. Y. H. Q. T. U. L. I. T. T. Y. G. S. O. Y. N. H. I. W. O. M. P. L. G. I. A. S. G. P. T. Y. N. T. Y. N. N. N. I. I. T. Y. U. L. G. B. T. T. A. T. R. A. L. B. O. A. W. H. A. A. N. W. W. H. A. R. A. A. R. C. A. C. N. W. C. A. P. P. C. A. N. P. P. C. M. A. W. E. I. L. N. R. C. C. H. H. A. W. W. A. T. T. S. I. T. W. R. R. R. W. Y. T. D. A. T. W. L. F. F. U. P. T. E. P. U. T. T. W. T. W. R. T. Y. N. R. P. T. W. Y. B. A. D. A. W. P. I. F. Y. B. F. M. S. D. E. O. Y. L. T. A. P. L. A. G. C. A. W. P. T. D. F. Y. F. C. O. S. D. D. F. C. S. A. F. N. J. D. S. K. T. E. A. S. W. O. S. S. D. A. E. W. T. P. C. W. U. W. G. A. F. T. O. R. A. B. Y. F. A. S. D. C. O. O. H. W. W. R. Y. T. Y. P. S. P. N. W. T. Y. - A new record

04/11/95 - Spandex and Harsh Abrasives - We don't do Windows

04/18/95 - Paper Bags and Sharp Sticks - What flavor would you like?

04/25/95 - Sponge Cake and Mrs. Butterworth - Some settling may occur during shipping

1995-1996

08/19/95 - Aardvarks and Toothpicks - Here's looking at you, kid.

08/29/95 - Pop Rocks and Oral Sex - Please watch your step

09/06/95 - Laserdisks and Fallen Angels - Who finished off the milk?!

09/12/95 - Cheez-Its and Deep Sea Fishing - Parrish the Thought

09/26/95 - Napkin Roses and Freckles - Nice guys read Dr. Seuss

10/03/95 - Laser Sights and Goats - Sorry, Worcester Joke...

10/10/95 - Cockroaches and Sack Fights - I'm sorry, my dentures must have slipped

10/31/95 - Paper Clips and Vegetarians - Do Whatever the Little Voices Tell You To Do

11/07/95 - Peanut Butter and Mel Tormei - Hey, Who Used All the Hot Water?!

11/14/95 - Hot Fudge and Cold Guns - Excuse me, there's a fly in my soup.

11/21/95 - Dairy Cows and a 6-Foot Threaded Rod - Kiss Me I'm Irish

12/05/95 - VCRs and Cannolies - Just point, click, and ship.

12/12/95 - Thick Socks and Bubble Baths - Sorry, Virginia...

01/16/96 - Shoehorns and a Pleasant Wedge - 'Nuff snow fer ya?

01/23/96 - Harsh Words and Sun Spots - The Gompei Chronicles

02/13/96 - Silly String and Lois Lane - Sounds Like a Title to Me

04/23/96 - Pickles and Pizza - No, no, no. He's just... pining...

1996-1997

04/22/97 - Natural Oils and Stolen Ideas - There's a Buddha on my Monitor

2000-2001

01/30/01 - Strained Peas and Intellectual Property - We Didn't Expect the Spanish Inquisition!

02/06/01 - Squirrels and Party Favors - Hey, babe, what's your sign?

02/13/01 - Charlie Sheen and Bean Paste - Anybody know what happened to the cat?

02/20/01 - Peaches and Spiny Chameleons - Did I leave the branding iron on?

2001-2002

Toasts and Shaving Cream - If you're the best man, why are you going stag?

09/04/01 - Boxers and Radishes - I want a standing ovation!

11/13/01 - Sardines and Diamondbacks - We agree to pause and rant

Cheez-Its and Deep Sea Fishing - Parrish the Thought


by Laurel and Guinevere

Well, last week we decided to use the help of The Bean Counter to write our article. This week we've settled on Ben and Jerry's (who's delivery trucks can thankfully still get to campus thanks to @). We'll see what happens...

A few days ago, we received pheedback from our web page. The first person to send us a letter this way this year was none other than our President. (For the slow folks playing at home, we're talking about the president of WPI, not Billy Boy. 'Though if Clinton is reading this, he'd would make a cool edition to our phan club too... Drop us a line.) At first, we were afraid what this letter would say, but then we figured, hey, we don't take classes here anymore. If he's mad at us, it's Newspeak that'll have to deal with 'em...

I enjoyed reading your column in the Sept 6 issue. However, please don't advertise me as someone who might do MORE projects. My wife has a list long enough to keep me busy well into the next century. I went back to Nashville over Labor Day and cut the grass, cut down a tree and cleaned up the mess, washed windows, fixed two computers, etc., etc. Enough is enough. But, good luck with your own projects.

-Edward A. Parrish

Gee, sorry that you gotta do all that work. Ya know if you fake an injury, you'll be able to get out of some of those chores, not to mention boku sympathy. Ummm, we sure hope your wife isn't reading this, too... So anyway, thanks for the Pheedback, and try to do the best you can with all the extra work. Your secret talents are safe with us... and everyone who reads this column... Don't worry, you could trust them to keep quiet even in the face of the dreaded Chinese Pickle Torture (a rare and peculiar variant of the water torture bit). Keep us posted on the home repairs and any inside information about interesting WPI stuff, OK?

Dear fine persons of Philler:

While riding in a car down Main St, Worcester, I noticed the most peculiar thing. On the left (if you're going from Highland Street), you will notice a building belonging to "ARTSWORCESTER." This organization's logo is a W. It is placed on the left of "ARTSWORCESTER," which makes the building look like it belongs to "WARTSWORCESTER." Ahh, so this is the source of integumentary growths in the center of Massachusetts!

-An observer

integumentary... quick, look that one up...

Top 10 Least Productive Uses for Marshmallow Fluff:

10. High gloss latex exterior paint

9. Aftershave lotion

8. Facial Tissue

7. Crowbar

6. Extra body shampoo

5. Insect Repellant

4. Recording medium for your favorite daytime television shows

3. Pacifist replacement for Napalm

2. Healthy Choice pavement option for @ pedestrian mall

And the Number One Least Productive Uses for Marshmallow Fluff:

1. Replacement for Silly Puddy (Doesn't bounce, and just makes the comics sticky)

Has anyone noticed that whoever did the paving around Boynton Hall decided to put asphalt right up to the edge of that bench by the Earle Bridge? To us it seems a strange place from which to make a quick get-away. If memory serves us correctly, that particular piece of paving was done after the driveway was completed, as if someone absolutely had to have that area paved. Hmmm, maybe they were almost caught napping on the bench, and only barely escaped. You never know with those shady characters who hang out by the bridge... (See accompanying photo for details.)

Well, that just about wraps it up for this week. Remember, our addresses are below our logo, so don't hesitate to be cool like President Parrish and write to us.

Quote of the Week:

Experience teaches you to recognize a mistake when you've made it again.


Send your thoughts, observations, and questions to us at philler@philler.com...