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Cheez-Its and Deep Sea Fishing - Parrish the Thought

by Laurel and Guinevere

Well, last week we decided to use the help of The Bean Counter to write our article. This week we've settled on Ben and Jerry's (who's delivery trucks can thankfully still get to campus thanks to @). We'll see what happens...

A few days ago, we received pheedback from our web page. The first person to send us a letter this way this year was none other than our President. (For the slow folks playing at home, we're talking about the president of WPI, not Billy Boy. 'Though if Clinton is reading this, he'd would make a cool edition to our phan club too... Drop us a line.) At first, we were afraid what this letter would say, but then we figured, hey, we don't take classes here anymore. If he's mad at us, it's Newspeak that'll have to deal with 'em...

I enjoyed reading your column in the Sept 6 issue. However, please don't advertise me as someone who might do MORE projects. My wife has a list long enough to keep me busy well into the next century. I went back to Nashville over Labor Day and cut the grass, cut down a tree and cleaned up the mess, washed windows, fixed two computers, etc., etc. Enough is enough. But, good luck with your own projects.

-Edward A. Parrish

Gee, sorry that you gotta do all that work. Ya know if you fake an injury, you'll be able to get out of some of those chores, not to mention boku sympathy. Ummm, we sure hope your wife isn't reading this, too... So anyway, thanks for the Pheedback, and try to do the best you can with all the extra work. Your secret talents are safe with us... and everyone who reads this column... Don't worry, you could trust them to keep quiet even in the face of the dreaded Chinese Pickle Torture (a rare and peculiar variant of the water torture bit). Keep us posted on the home repairs and any inside information about interesting WPI stuff, OK?

Dear fine persons of Philler:

While riding in a car down Main St, Worcester, I noticed the most peculiar thing. On the left (if you're going from Highland Street), you will notice a building belonging to "ARTSWORCESTER." This organization's logo is a W. It is placed on the left of "ARTSWORCESTER," which makes the building look like it belongs to "WARTSWORCESTER." Ahh, so this is the source of integumentary growths in the center of Massachusetts!

-An observer

integumentary... quick, look that one up...

Top 10 Least Productive Uses for Marshmallow Fluff:

10. High gloss latex exterior paint

9. Aftershave lotion

8. Facial Tissue

7. Crowbar

6. Extra body shampoo

5. Insect Repellant

4. Recording medium for your favorite daytime television shows

3. Pacifist replacement for Napalm

2. Healthy Choice pavement option for @ pedestrian mall

And the Number One Least Productive Uses for Marshmallow Fluff:

1. Replacement for Silly Puddy (Doesn't bounce, and just makes the comics sticky)

Has anyone noticed that whoever did the paving around Boynton Hall decided to put asphalt right up to the edge of that bench by the Earle Bridge? To us it seems a strange place from which to make a quick get-away. If memory serves us correctly, that particular piece of paving was done after the driveway was completed, as if someone absolutely had to have that area paved. Hmmm, maybe they were almost caught napping on the bench, and only barely escaped. You never know with those shady characters who hang out by the bridge... (See accompanying photo for details.)

Well, that just about wraps it up for this week. Remember, our addresses are below our logo, so don't hesitate to be cool like President Parrish and write to us.

Quote of the Week:

Experience teaches you to recognize a mistake when you've made it again.

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