Merry Christmas or Seasons Greetings - Grab a PC and take off.

So what did you learn this term? Calculus? Programming? How to deal with thick accents (Bostonian or otherwise)? Hope all is well, and good luck this week finishing it all up.

We learned about communication this term. Actually, the lack thereof.

For a few weeks this term, whenever we'd drop off our article at Newspeak, the heat down there was incredible, or as we like to say, "It was hotter than a plaid blowtorch in a hamster cage." We were told that the air conditioning was broken. It seems that when Plant Services came by to fix it, it took them hardly any time at all to get it back in tip-top condition. (Yes, we know, this is an incredible surprise to us too.) Here's what they did: They looked in the main control box thingie, and turned on the switch marked air-conditioner (or some similarly labeled thing we're assuming)!

It doesn't take an engineer to do that, right? O.K. The next day, the air conditioner wasn't working again. Plant Services went right to work and turned the switch on again. We can only imagine how much they must have suspected those wacky Newspeak people of trying to drive them nuts by somehow sneaking into the control box when no one was looking. If they did, they were wrong. You know who the pranksters were? If you guessed the WPI Police, you'd be correct! It seems that when the system kicked in at night, it would set off the alarm in Newspeak's office, the police would respond to the false alarm, and to remedy the problem, they would simply turn the air conditioning system off. Granted, it worked, but in the meantime, Newspeak editors were busting into flames. Trust us, it's not a pretty sight...

Either the Police didn't bother telling anyone how they solved the problem, or Plant Services forgot about the police telling them night after night. To tell you the truth, we can't figure out which is the more plausible suspicion. It's not really a big deal. Everything's fixed now. The point is, somewhere, communication between the school services failed miserably.

DAKA still hasn't let anyone know who's paying for those nifty-neat video jukeboxes. (As a side note, we've found it much easier to get teaspoons instead of finding soup spoons lately. Keep up the good work, DAKA.)

The first floor of Riley Hall is being converted into office space when there is already a lack of housing space on campus, and at the same time, we're trying to increase enrollment! Please explain this one to us. Are we going to set up tents on the quad for Freshmen housing next year? Both of these cases show the lack of communication between services and students.

Campus wide meeting to discuss the future president of this institution? This decision will affect students, professors, really everyone on campus. Hardly anyone showed up.

This campus has been criticized about its lack of community. Part of that is it's apparent lack of communication. Each department is trying to be independent when none of them can figure out how to support themselves. This is an engineering school, get together and engineer a plan to keep the school from falling apart.

On the note of non-communication between departments, we would like to single out the EE department as an example. Instead of using the general school resources, such as mailing and computer services, they use their own system. While this is not a terrible thing for which they should be severely punished, but it does demonstrate the lack of trust and community feeling in the department. Along with this, there is the recent (read last year) dissolution of the Purchasing Department, which was in charge of keeping a set standard for computer equipment for the entire campus. Without this department, not only does the institute not enjoy bulk discounts, but also has to deal with the problems of multiple configurations of hardware and software. Do any of these things really make sense in the grand scheme of things? We think not. A centralized system of cooperation and mutual benefit is the way to go at an institution with our needs.

No matter how good the new president will be, (we enjoy the walk on water reference from last week's Newspeak) they will not be able to "force" community into us, and this is not some sort of mechanical engineer's "self-realigning institution." We need to work together to get stuff done around here. We admit, most of the stuff we write about is pointless, but hey, some stuff isn't, and we've actually affected some meaningful changes around here. We've received tons of letters from students and faculty alike, and we actually respond to them.

We also indirectly get complaints from various departments, but we don't do rumors here. If we aren't written to directly, we can't respond and work things out. If you don't like what we say, tell us. If we don't have the whole story, tell us. If you want the students to listen to why you're doing something that doesn't seem painfully obvious, tell us. Read the column, we'll print anything. Chances are, if you don't, someone will eventually notice it and ask us, and we'll have to make something silly up.

The purpose of this column is not to get people upset. It's to get people to think. Our first article was about the discrepancy between the times shown on various Two Towers logos. Within the month, there was talk of changing the school logo. Well, maybe that wasn't because of us, but still... Thinking is good. Thinking is the result of confusion. Confusion is good. If you don't question why things are done, and accept the way things are, nothing will ever change, and nothing will get better.

Professors: Get involved. Listen to students. Don't wait until you get those little blue evaluation forms. By the time those are read, it's too late. Make department meetings productive. Organize speakers, and force your students to go to them. Offer extra credit or something. Get people to open their minds.

WPI Services: Students are the ones who keep you going. If you don't tell them what's going on, they'll turn on you faster than a centrifuge with an upside down cat inside. Plan public relation gimmicks. Write an article for Newspeak. Keep people informed.

Students: Start talking. Start questioning. Get involved in groups. Tell other people what you're doing. Don't complain that Newspeak doesn't write something about your organization / event / favorite jelly bean. Write an article and turn it in. They eat that kind of thing up over there. Newspeak is not a school "service." It's a STUDENT newspaper. That means you. We're tired of reading wire-service articles instead of student written articles, aren't you? We're sure the people at Newspeak feel the same way, but there's not enough people on staff to write about everything. If we can find time to write a column this size every week, based on something obscure, it shouldn't be too hard to write about something painfully obvious like a concert or sporting event. If you tell people about what you're doing, some of them might be interested and come to the game, or join your organization. We don't know too many people who read the club corners unless they're involved in the particular club. If you're doing something big, tell everyone by writing an article, preferably not an announcement that's headline is bigger than the text.

Why are we always reacting? Let's activate something. Let's start talking, and let's pull together and get a community going around here. It won't happen by itself. Let's give the next president something to work with. If we do, maybe we can get someone cool like Alex Trebek. Who knows?

We thank you for putting up with this not - quite - so - silly - but - there - were - a - few cool - things - in - it - so - we'll - still - probably - read - the - column - after - break (N. Q. S. S. B. T. W. A. F. C. T. I. I. S. W. S. P. R. T. C. A. B.) article. In the next edition of Philler, we'll try to answer more pressing topics around campus such as questions from Scott R. McDermott who asks, "Why do the keyboards click in the quiet lab in Fuller?" But, before we go, we were sent this and wish to pass it onto you as we wish you a merry... no... happy... um... hope you have a few good weeks off between B and C term:

A Politically Correct Holiday Wish

Best Wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with no implication that you have a religious persuasion, and with respect for the religious persuasions of others or their choice not to practice a religion at all; And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 1995, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to our society have helped make America great, without regard to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others.

Send your thoughts, observations, and questions to us at philler@philler.com...