09/28/93 - Eggs and Hamsters - Who eats, and who gets eaten Letter to the Editor: Ask not for whom the bell tolls... 02/08/94 - Strawberries and Whipped Cream - Why I get wet at WPI 02/15/94 - Pencils and Jello - What's Holding This Up? 02/22/94 - Oprah and Applesauce - And now a word from our fans 03/01/94 - Moats and Chicks - What's being served today? 03/29/94 - Lists and destiny - A smile without a cat 04/19/94 - Carbonless Paper and the Swiss Alps - The healthier alternative 04/26/94 - Toasted armadillos and the jon - How to balance the budget 08/30/94 - Coke Bottle Glasses and Chicken Little - Who's running the show? 09/07/94 - Blowup Dolls and Sharp Tacks - Closed for Remodeling 09/13/94 - Anchovies in the Petrolium Jelly - How did I get into this? 09/20/94 - Fog and the Dutch - Why am I muddy? 10/04/94 - Doughnuts and The Swamp Thing - What do you want on your Tombstone? 10/11/94 - Phone Calls and Blank Walls - Has Jack Frost been nipping at your... butt? 11/01/94 - Sabotage and Sodas - The Time has Come 11/08/94 - Ticket Stubs and Drinking - What's all the rush about? 11/15/94 - Flea Bites and Lounge Acts, Don't Touch That Dial 11/22/94 - Seagulls and Parking Lots - Do you really have to take this? 12/06/94 - Marching bands and pink balloons - You're getting verrrry sleepy... 12/13/94 - Merry Christmas or Seasons Greetings - Grab a PC and take off. 01/17/95 - Cartoons and Twinkies - Who's stuffing the ballot box? 01/24/95 - Feathers and Harbor Seals - What's that thing growing on your leg?! 01/31/95 - Four-wheelers and Telephone Poles - Who's been eating YOUR porridge? 02/07/95 - Fig Leaves and Pipe Cleaners - What are you doing in here? 02/21/95 - Cappuccino and Microchips - The Good Time Eating Place 02/28/95 - Dental Floss & Diaphragms - Trouble Brewing? 03/21/95 - Tangerines and Coffee Beans - Sleepless in New Jersey 03/28/95 - Top Hats and Hopscotch - Your one-stop bait and tackle store 04/11/95 - Spandex and Harsh Abrasives - We don't do Windows 04/18/95 - Paper Bags and Sharp Sticks - What flavor would you like? 04/25/95 - Sponge Cake and Mrs. Butterworth - Some settling may occur during shipping 08/19/95 - Aardvarks and Toothpicks - Here's looking at you, kid. 08/29/95 - Pop Rocks and Oral Sex - Please watch your step 09/06/95 - Laserdisks and Fallen Angels - Who finished off the milk?! 09/12/95 - Cheez-Its and Deep Sea Fishing - Parrish the Thought 09/26/95 - Napkin Roses and Freckles - Nice guys read Dr. Seuss 10/03/95 - Laser Sights and Goats - Sorry, Worcester Joke... 10/10/95 - Cockroaches and Sack Fights - I'm sorry, my dentures must have slipped 10/31/95 - Paper Clips and Vegetarians - Do Whatever the Little Voices Tell You To Do 11/07/95 - Peanut Butter and Mel Tormei - Hey, Who Used All the Hot Water?! 11/14/95 - Hot Fudge and Cold Guns - Excuse me, there's a fly in my soup. 11/21/95 - Dairy Cows and a 6-Foot Threaded Rod - Kiss Me I'm Irish 12/05/95 - VCRs and Cannolies - Just point, click, and ship. 12/12/95 - Thick Socks and Bubble Baths - Sorry, Virginia... 01/16/96 - Shoehorns and a Pleasant Wedge - 'Nuff snow fer ya? 01/23/96 - Harsh Words and Sun Spots - The Gompei Chronicles 02/13/96 - Silly String and Lois Lane - Sounds Like a Title to Me 04/23/96 - Pickles and Pizza - No, no, no. He's just... pining... 04/22/97 - Natural Oils and Stolen Ideas - There's a Buddha on my Monitor 01/30/01 - Strained Peas and Intellectual Property - We Didn't Expect the Spanish Inquisition! 02/06/01 - Squirrels and Party Favors - Hey, babe, what's your sign? 02/13/01 - Charlie Sheen and Bean Paste - Anybody know what happened to the cat? 02/20/01 - Peaches and Spiny Chameleons - Did I leave the branding iron on? Toasts and Shaving Cream - If you're the best man, why are you going stag? 09/04/01 - Boxers and Radishes - I want a standing ovation! 11/13/01 - Sardines and Diamondbacks - We agree to pause and rant |
L. I. L. A. B. O. C. A. W. J. S. O. T. N. Y. F. I. T. W. B. T. Y. A. P. I. T. B. N. O. T. F. B. R. T. W. L. T. C. P. F. T. O. Y. W. F. T. S. Y. C. F. O. N. T. I. T. I. O. B. Y. F. T. O. Y. W. D. K. H. O. T. H. T. O. Y. V. C. R. W. I. H. U. A. A. S. . L. T. J. W. T. U. A. W. B. G. T. S. B. A. M. T. F. 1. I. O. M. S. A. O. T. L. T. W. A. W. T. D. T. H. O. W. R. W. L. Y. P. W. W. W. C. T. Y. A. O. T. D. A. A. V. E. R. O. Y. C. B. W. K. T. W. C. N. A. A. P. O. Y. H. Q. T. U. L. I. T. T. Y. G. S. O. Y. N. H. I. W. O. M. P. L. G. I. A. S. G. P. T. Y. N. T. Y. N. N. N. I. I. T. Y. U. L. G. B. T. T. A. T. R. A. L. B. O. A. W. H. A. A. N. W. W. H. A. R. A. A. R. C. A. C. N. W. C. A. P. P. C. A. N. P. P. C. M. A. W. E. I. L. N. R. C. C. H. H. A. W. W. A. T. T. S. I. T. W. R. R. R. W. Y. T. D. A. T. W. L. F. F. U. P. T. E. P. U. T. T. W. T. W. R. T. Y. N. R. P. T. W. Y. B. A. D. A. W. P. I. F. Y. B. F. M. S. D. E. O. Y. L. T. A. P. L. A. G. C. A. W. P. T. D. F. Y. F. C. O. S. D. D. F. C. S. A. F. N. J. D. S. K. T. E. A. S. W. O. S. S. D. A. E. W. T. P. C. W. U. W. G. A. F. T. O. R. A. B. Y. F. A. S. D. C. O. O. H. W. W. R. Y. T. Y. P. S. P. N. W. T. Y. - A new recordby Laurel and Guinevere Life - is - like - a - box - of - chocolates... - and - we're - just - some - of - the - nuts - you'll - find - in - there... - Welcome - back - to - yet - another - path - in - that - bizarre - network - of - tunnels - far - below - reality - that - we - like - to - call - "Philler." - For - those - of - you - who - forgot - to - set - your - clocks - forward - on - Sunday, - today - is - tomorrow - instead - of - being - yesterday. - For - those - of - you - who - don't - know - how - to - change - the - times - on - your - VCRs - (Which - is - highly - unlikely - at - a - school - like - this) - just - write - to - us, - and - we'll - be - glad - to - swing - by - and - make - them - flash - 1:00 - instead - of - midnight... See - all - of - the - little - things - we - are - willing - to - do - to - help - our - wonderful - readers? - We - love - you - people... - We - wish - we - could - take - you - all - out - to - dinner - at - a - very - expensive - restaurant - of - your - choice, - but - we - know - that - we - could - never - afford - a - place - of - your - high - quality - tastes. - [Uh, - Laurel, - I - think - that - you've - got - something - on - your - nose...] - [Hey, - it - works - on - my - professors... - Let's - give - it - a - shot...] - [Good - point.] - [Thank - you.] - [No, - thank - *you.*] - [No, - no, - no... - I - insist... - Thank - *yooou...*] - [Um, - let's - get - back - to - the - article, - the - readers - are - looking - bored.] - Oh, - anyhow... - We - have - an - announcement... - No, - wait, - we - have - a - request... ATTENTION - ALL - READERS!!! - CALLING - ALL - CARS!!! - NO, - WAIT!!! - CALLING - ALL - PPC - AND - NON - PPC - MEMBERS - AND - WHOEVER - ELSE - IS - LISTENING...NO... - READING!!! [Cough, - cough, - hack, - hack] - Ahem... - What - we - are - trying - to - say - is - that - we - really, - really, - really, - want - you - to - do - a - teeny, - weenie, - little, - favor - for - us... - Pbpbpbpbpbpbpbpleeeeeezzzeeee!!!! - The - editors - promised - us - that - this - week, - they - would - run - the - yearly - Newspeak - readers - poll... - Therefore... - Would - ya - be - a - doll, - and - write - "Philler" - in - for - your - bestest - favoritist - most - super - dooperest - effect - on - your - life - type - article? - Police - log - and - Greek - Corner - always - win... - Put - them - down - for - your - favorite - color, - or - something... - Deal? - Deal... - Five - card - stud. - Aces, - fives, - nines, - Jacks, - deuces, - sevens, - Kings, - threes, - eights, - and - sixes - wild. - Oh, - sorry... - Why - doesn't - anyone - ever - want - to - play - cards - with - us? Well, - go - and - fill - that - out - right - away - before - ya - forget - and - start - doing - calculus - out - of - habit... - We - will - return - you - to - your - previously - scheduled - Philler - next - week. - Thank - you. Send your thoughts, observations, and questions to us at philler@philler.com... |