Boxers and Radishes - I want a standing ovation!
by Laurel and Guinevere
We hope everyone had a fun filled summer and didn't get involved in too many unexpected monkey hijackings. For those of you who are not familiar with our column, Philler is a less-than-regularly-irregular-space-taker-upper (L. T. R. I. S. T. U.) that runs when the muse hits us. We must have horribly offended the muse, however, because instead of simply hitting, Gwen had to pull her kicking and screaming off me the other day. Hey, Sometimes any kind of attention is better than nothing at all.
As you may have figured out by now, the world of Philler is slightly warped (perhaps even bent). But we're still wondering if the fact that Philler started in Worcester is a cause or an effect. Many of you already know, and the freshmen will soon enough, that Worcester is a very interesting place. You will find yourself asking questions like, do Tech Cleaners and Tech Pizza share some strange corporate alliance? And why you should never, ever, get them confused. As you move deeper into the world of Worcester, you may start to wonder why the city lacks public restrooms downtown, but boasts a Museum of Sanitary Plumbing. These are the things that keep us up at night, and we wanted to share them with you - enjoy!
For those keeping score, two other things that might prevent you from sleeping are that terrifyingly huge project due tomorrow that you just remembered today, and having to share a room with someone for the first time when their new significant (or sometimes insignificant) other spends the night. All we can recommend for those is finding someone who did it last year, and setting up a web cam and charging admission--you decide which to do where...
For those of you that may not have heard, Gwen got married over the summer. No more shenanigans-and-nights-of-debauchery-involving-playing-checkers-with-drunken-pygmies-while-watching-Junk-Yard-Wars-on-TLC (S. A. N. O. D. I. P. C. W. D. P. W. W. J. Y. W. O. T. L. C). No sir-ree... The missus will have none of that. However, by popular request, the toast Laurel gave at the reception has been reprinted on our website.
So, if somehow this stream of quasi-consciousness article is not making you dizzy, or if it is and you like it that way, all of our previous articles, Phan Club listings, merchandise, tools that could save your life, and other random things are also available on our website, which has the stunningly creative address of www.philler.com. We're confident that after reading all of the past articles, this one will easily make as much sense as a three eared jackalope winning a salmon spawning contest.
If you have a burning question that needs answering, send it to us at philler@philler.com and if we use your question in our column, you will become and honorary member of the Philler Phan Club and even receive a certificate suitable for framing. If instead you have a burning rash, please consult a physician.
Yours in strangeness,
Laurel and Guinevere
Send your thoughts, observations, and questions to us at philler@philler.com...
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