We encourage our readers to send us letters. In fact, we reward you for it. Letters we find interesting or entertaining, will be included in upcoming articles. If we use your letter, you will become a member of the Philler Phan Club and will also receive a certificate suitable for framing. To send us interesting observations or questions you want answered, e-mail email@example.com. You can also reach us individually at firstname.lastname@example.org and email@example.com.
Here are the latest letters we've received. Look for our responses in upcoming articles!
why stretch bacon, isn't it thin enough already?
Dear Laurel and Gunievere,
Welcome back to the land of the living! I'm really glad you gals decided to come out of retirement and spruce up Tech News with your witticisms.
Your website is really hysterical. I especially love the random phrase generator! You two are "funnier than a white orange ticket stub dancing the night away!"
Anyway, I was reading through the history of Philler and I've got a question for you. You wrote about the Philler Phun Phind and the QuadFest III sand castle competition. I'm curious - what were these contests and, more importantly, who were the winners?
Thanks for reading my letter. Until you answer it, I will remain "as handsome as a orange frozen rabid Junior at the grocery store,"
Thanks for the shout out in last week's article. But, just in case the writers at Tech News try to stake any claim to the phrase "anonymous girl", from this point forward you should call me "the anonymous girl". So now, hopefully I have made sure that whoever calls me "anonymous girl" does not call me "the anonymous girl", and whoever calls me "the anonymous girl" does not call me "anonymous girl".
Anyway, the reason I'm writing is to clarify something about the boxer shorts, which somehow in that picture, ended up on the wrong end...
They, in case anyone had any question at all about them, were brand new. Right out of the package they get mailed to you in when you send away for free stuff that they offer on the back of your box of Cocoa Pebbles. If you save up enough UPC symbols, sometimes you can afford a really cool t-shirt, but my appetite must not have been very good back then, cuz all I could get was those stinkin' boxers.
I distinctly remember the excitement I had as I opened the package, but then my excitement and anticipation were crushed as one of my friends exclaimed "Yeah, but they're underwear. Even if you wear them, nobody will be able to see them!"
I thought long and hard about it (for a few seconds), and in my infinite wisdom replied "They will if I wear them on my head!" As I proceeded to demonstrate this concept to my disbelieving friends, one of them grabbed their camera, and the rest is history...
As to why I would send that picture to you, well... that, I can't recall. I'm guessing, though, that I thought you might appreciate the fact that the character depicted on the shorts is none other than Phred Phlintstone, our phavorite phounder of that phamous prehistoric phamily phrom the town of Bedrock. Playing basketball, nonetheless (hey, had basketball actually been invented back then? how... what the... oh no, don't tell me that the whole thing was made up, and they weren't actually real people from the Stone Age...).
Well, anyway, thanks for coming out of retirement. As I vanish back into my world of anonymity, I have just one question for you... Why am I the only Philler Phan Club member lucky enough to get my picture displayed on your web page? I must be your phavorite member, right? I think I deserve another certificate just for that (and because I seem to have misplaced my first one).
Wow, your own website! That's awesome. What's next... t-shirts? souvenir glasses? (both of which would be really cool, and I'd purchase if I had the opportunity).
Send your thoughts, observations, and questions to us at firstname.lastname@example.org...